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    Soon enough I learned how to play both parts: the emissary and the prince he represents.

    While the whole arrangement at first seemed complicated eventually I saw the benefits.

    I thought it was because I was reaching for guys out of my league, but once I started making Taiwanese friends they explained to me how it worked.“Who do you like?

    ” my friend Lulu (his drag name) asked me.“That one.”And Lulu walked over to him and talked to him for a bit.

    Or just see how often I get complimented on my shoes.

    After college in New York I moved to Taipei to study Mandarin and teach English. You couldn’t just go up to a guy you thought was hot. I learned this the hard way: my first few weekends out I would just go straight up to a hot guy and ask him his name (I couldn’t compliment him on his shoes because my Chinese wasn’t that good yet), and he would act like nothing happened and not even look at me.

    We carefully coordinate dinner parties for eight at popular restaurants all over Manhattan.

    You experience an exciting evening of conversation and cuisine.

    I used to have pick-up lines, and I learned which ones worked best by trial and error.

    What usually worked well was to compliment the guy on his clothes: “Hey, nice sneakers” or “Cool T-shirt.” I suppose before the pick-up line there might have been some exchange of eye contact, but more often I would just go right up to a guy before he even saw me and tell him I liked his shoes.

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