"Divorce used to be something people didn't do, and many considered divorced women to be 'loose' and 'scandalous,'" says two-time divorcee Jennifer Little, Ph D, founder of Parents Teach Kids.
Some of those stigmas still exist, she says, so remember that divorce doesn't define you.
Try to have money available—like ,000—within days. "It not only 'showed him;' it also showed the wife—and their children—what life is like on a lower salary," she says.
Simplybadmouthing your ex is likely to hurt your kids more than your husband, even if you don't think they hear or read what you say.
So get as much information as you can about your shared accounts to be well-informed before court.
"It can leave him feeling stigmatized or reinforce that the divorce is his fault," says Doares, though therapy's a good option if the behavior change is extreme.10. Annie, 47, from Boston, felt like she didn't have any talents, besides caring for her kids, before divorcing in 2007.
She now has a blog, Plenty Perfect.com, and sees new directions her life can take.
"I wasn't prepared for the loneliness that accompanied Christmas," she says.
"It amplified the concept of a broken home." She wishes she had made plans to see her mother or a friend—or taken a vacation—to take her mind off spending the holiday by herself.